Beauty as Nature Intended By Donna Sonkin HHC,AADP.
What if I told you that you were amazing RIGHT now? Yes, we could all use some tweaking to be the BEST version of ourselves but, what if you already had all of that in you. What if you could just relax knowing that, like Dorothy’s ruby slippers you had the ability all the while. Through all of life’s ups and downs, through all of the anxiety and low self esteem days? Would you believe me?
I am here to tell you that you are a glorious creature that you have been given the perfect body, skin, voice, hair, talents that you need for this lifetime. The lessons that you must learn will turn about because of who you are and the vessel in which you travel. Sure Marilyn Monroe got a nose job – but I’ve seen the photos and I thought that she was gorgeous with her original nose.
I recently NetFlixed the movie “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.” I was blown away by all of the CGI (Computer-generated imagery) during the course of the movie Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchet’s characters go from 19 years old to 95 years old –they were pulled to look younger and had more than 5 hours of makeup a day to look older. Julia Ormond played Cate’s daughter and is 43 years old. The first close up that I saw of her bowled me over- “she is a goddess” I thought “ a radiant vision” I think that it was the first time in about ten years that I have seen a woman in the movies actually look her age. Every line , every wrinkle, the furrow of her brow. It made me feel good about aging gracefully without botox or fillers or peels. Without lying to my friends about some secret vacation when I turn 55 to go get pulled and nipped. To see an expressive face , a face with feeling and emotion. WOW! So many of us fall into the trap of being lead by the media – I actually dated a guy who had no clue that they airbrushed photos of women in the magazines and billboards-- he was really missing out on BEAUTY as nature intended it! I remember one of my students talking about her grandmother and how she loved her arm fat – how it was one of the few places that she felt safe, how she would not trade time in her grandmother’s embrace, snuggled into her bosom nearly suffocated by arm fat. Isn’t that worth something?
I read a great interview with Selma Hyack where she calls her stretch marks her “tiger stripes” just thinking of Selma Hyack with stretch marks makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.
These imperfections will benefit someone along the way – it is up to us to figure out who and allow those people who REALLY appreciate us and our bodies to get to love us and be with us. In the movie Pitt’s character goes on and on about loving Blanchet’s smile lines, that alone is reason to forgo botox.
I am in no way saying that you should have globs of arm fat and weathered skin – I am saying that you can work with what you have and see the value in it . To love it as it is and then work at making it the BEST ever.
Here are some tips on working with what you’ve got:
Donna’s top 5 tips to loving where your at:
- Figure out what it is that you need to work on, really. Find an honest friend who will lovingly and gently bring things to your attention- do you eat late night? Do you make dumb choices when it comes to relationships? Ask a friend and then sit back and LISTEN without judgment or fear.
- DO something about it! Now that you have a basic idea of what needs work go out and DO! Is your apartment a mess? Call in a professional organizer. Do you feel stuck , get a life coach. Need some fresh energy in your life? Volenteer.
- Make fitness a regular part of your life. Be consistent, finally! Enlist a professional to kick your butt and then make plans to keep doing it. Make work outs a fixture by literally scheduling them into your blackberry or planner. Nothing will make you feel better about who you are than a work out- you release hundreds of wonderful phyto- chemicals and endorphins.
- Get OUT of your head! Are you trapped by your thoughts? Find your personal Zen place with classic meditation or one of the active forms of meditation. I call these “active” because they link the body/ mind and breath – any martial arts, yoga, swimming and running even a long walk in nature can bring you glorious inner peace. Even taking 5 minutes a day to quiet the mind and breathe can change your entire day and how you feel about who you are.
- Get your food issues under wraps once and for all! Are you emotional eating? Late night eating? Have you no clue of what to buy, cook or what to eat? Do you look to magazine articles for your nutrition advice? Time to get real and figure that all out. First I recommend eating REAL food – this is food that is what it says it is, an egg is an egg, chicken is chicken, nuts are nuts, grapes are grapes etc. If you eat only this type of food you will avoid all processed food naturally. Also, listening to your body can be so powerful. So ask yourself before you dive into the buffet table at your cousins wedding “what do I really want?” “how hungry am I ?” if you eat when you know you aren’t hungry ask “what is on my mind ?” “what am I upset about –really”
I know that with these 5 tools you are well on your way to the kind of self acceptance that makes you appear to be more beautiful in all you do.
